The Black rose

Sitting in a darken room, silence all around, She pushes her worthless tears slowly from her cheek. Why is the the sun so bright, but her thoughts so dark, Sickness plagues her head, the screams dont get heard. Sleep is such a release, she wishes it lasts forever, a black rose makes her smile, as she lays down and drifts away. In a sweet dream, she laughs and cheers, Everything makes sense, she feels complete. Awakening is always a painful reality, She stands, brushes off her worries and walks away.

Closure.... going, going, gone....

Ah closure.. the means to an end... Why does it feel so good when you attempt to set closure, but when all is said and done, closure is the only thing that haunts you. I believe that to end something is to replace it with something else, meaning no closure necessary. Whether that is the denial side of me coming out, but filling your life with trivial bullshit does make the more hurtful serious things fade into the background. My message in my last post was me trying my hardest to attack closure face to face, and unfortunately Im feeling like im hyperventalating. breathe nicole breathe. So............. Ive changed alot today because of all this closure needed in my life, even though they are minor changes...... I cut my hair, took a huge walk, sat in the garden and listened to the silence, smiled as big as i could... So in a way making these changes is a good ploy to learn dealing with closure. closing my misery and starting fresh. Are you confused now.. maybe thinking Im a little crazy, well maybe so but arnt we all???

Goodnight and goodbye...

It needs to be said, its all well and good, Its time to say goodbye, good luck my job is done. Whether my heart or my head leads me, I want it to involve you, but it cant. I wish upon a shining star, that life is good for you, I hope all you dreams become reality, I hope you find what you are looking for. Journeys do come to an end, and for this one it is spent, My heart is breaking writing you this, but let be known pain can also be good. May, wont come, unfortunately it will be skipped. That is worry that can be taken from you troubles. But I will try to erase myself from your memory for the sake of your happiness, No need to speak up, I cant listen to it anymore. No explanations necessary its ok. Its ok. Please no more spite, no more fights, The story doesnt need to end that way, Be true to yourself you will find your path, you will succeed, you will win. Happiness is all I wanted for you, you have chosen this route, Please apologise for the friction I have caused. I would have reacted the same way.. Dont think of me when it snows, May was only another month similar to the next, I cherish the words you have said, the gifts you have bestowed on my life. You want me to let you go.. Your released, you free. Curtain is closing, its been fun, its been a pleasure. Goodnight and goodbye.

Starting Again..

Hello and welcome.. I know it feels good to be able to write and tell you about my life again. I had to shut down my last blog page due to fake nasty people who wanted to corrupt my page, but sometimes its better, more positive to stop and start again, then to try and eradicate stupidity. Anyway, Ill keep this post short, but will update soon.. Nic xxx