Im Sorry...
I cant believe you wake up one day, everything is normal. You wake up the next and realise that the normal day that you have convinced was normal was really empty mockery of your existence.... That's me today.....
I was terribly sarcastic to the point of being mean to my best friend in the world, a person who I love to death only hours ago. I somewhat snapped at him and because he was having a fantastic day at the moment, made me feel that im having an even worse day then I predicted. Im awful, Im a bitch and very selfish and Im sorry.
Its wonderful that your feeling better, Im so sorry.. Please forgive me.
Im feeling so alone and even though I don't want to be bitter about it, unfortunately you cant help not feeling that way. I need a distraction, something to explode in front of me just to keep me interested for half a second..
Why is the people I need the most, never here.
I need you here, I need to laugh ,
I need to feel safe and comfortable to be able to sleep at night instead of crying to make myself sleep.
Anyway It doesn't matter, Nicole will eventually get over it and life will revolve as normal.
posted by Nic @ 5:56 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Nicole;
Feeling good is a mental mind set. Only you can make you feel good about you. Noone else can or should make you feel good or not lonely. It's in you. Somewhere you've forgotten that. This is your reminder to be happy in yourself. If you do that, I'll forget about the other stuff.
Get better, I want my friend back, not this strange, self-loathing, sometimes mean person. Miss you.
-Doug
i didnt realise that I was that bad doug.. Im sorry that I have come across that way. Im not sick, Im just sick of my life and the rut Ive got myself into.
Thanks for your honesty.
Nic..hey mate what is up with you ? I know I too have bouts of self loathing which is why this post is alarming and rings a strange sense of 'familiarity'.At the end of the day whoever you consider 'friend' will come back at you with sincerity and kindness.The fact that you are different to the ones you are attracted to says that you know something deep about yourself. Honestly most people will never ever get to such a point where they can connect on such a level or even admit to what lies beneath their skin. You may have been an awful bitch etc and whatever else you stated but aren`t we all at various points in our lives? It`s been acknowleged. Thats a start.
Cheer up Nic.
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