It Continues....

Why does everything have to be so cryptic? Who took away our rights and inhibitions to express ourselves freely? When I want to say something why does it feel like someone is gagging me for silence? 'I can see you, the stars are shining' As I read through my previous posts, I realised that Im the creator of my own grief, torturing myself by over thinking and under doing, and unfortunately I don't know how to fix that. ' I love you can I keep you?' I think I don't need to give up caring as my previous post indicated, I think I need to focus on what is true and what is fake, I need to take a step back and tell the people that are so special to me that I appreciate them and how much they mean to me, be absolutely selfless, which would be nice because I feel like im drowning in my own selfishness lately. 'I hate the way I feel tonight' Hopefully someone might hear my plea, un-jumble the mixed up mess that's inside my head... I ask do the finer things in life always become dull? Do you say a word or do you stay silent? Do you dare step back into the ring of a defeated fight and try to fight back?Do you listen to everything or do you only hear what you want to hear? ' Please don't apologise, you have nothing to be sorry for' What to say, what to say??? I have dribbled on like an incoherent buffoon tonight and when you scroll back through it I really did say much at all. I must admit though, I feel a little better (as she sighs**) In times of need, through the pain, through the sadness I will be there, I have always been there... I love you and no one will silence me, you know who you are.... Cheers Nic xxx